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-/100
DIFFICULTY
2/10
OVERALL
-/10
VISUALS
-/10
GAMEPLAY

pride (the concept) is all about loudly and unashamedly showing our true, queer colors without caring about what outsiders may make of us.

pride (the level) is an overbaked modern level that cycles between different dull, washed-out pride flag color palettes, obscured by so many layers of low opacity black, random little details, and pulses to black/white that the whole level feels like it's actively trying to hide what it claims to celebrate.

whereas pride (the concept) is about love and defiance, pride (the level) is about hesitation and obfuscation. there's so many interesting directions you could take a level centered around the queer experience, so it's a shame nearly all of them take the same uninspired approach of simply using pride flag color palettes. but even with these low expectations, pride still falls short.

-/100
DIFFICULTY
4/10
OVERALL
-/10
VISUALS
-/10
GAMEPLAY

i do agree with wless that there are a lot of worthless, uninteresting levels that clog up the featured tab. but the first step in subverting this is making an experience that's actually interesting, which in the radiator fails to accomplish. i can appreciate what wless is going for here, but his other levels do a much better job at being "a huge 'fuck you' to current creating standards" by being creative and unique while still working within the confines of what makes gd levels enjoyable

-/100
DIFFICULTY
6/10
OVERALL
-/10
VISUALS
-/10
GAMEPLAY

of the big three creators who spearheaded the neodesign movement—cometface, zhiana, and presta—zhiana's levels have definitely aged the worst. which is a shame, because they feature tons of creative ideas and concepts that just aren't able to fully shine. maybe if zhiana's career lasted longer, he could've developed his skills to the point where he could do his ideas justice. for only creating for a little over a year, though, zhiana's catalog is still very impressive. i do miss when we had creators like echonox, serponge, jayuff, and cometface who were consistently able to engage the community with creative, fresh levels for a long time, which is something we haven't really seen since cometface left at the start of 2023. most good creators now release their levels very sporadically, which is equal parts understandable and unfortunate.

nospikenation isn't zhiana's best level by any means, but it's a fun one to look back on. i remember being obsessed with it when it came out in april 2021, but looking back on it now four years later, there are just too many glaring flaws for me to really get into it. the ship/wave at the halfway point is definitely the highlight of the level, but the rest really does not work at all for a variety of reasons i don't think i need to go into. it'd be cool to see a creator remake one of zhiana's levels and truly let his visions shine. maybe that creator could be me? who knows

-/100
DIFFICULTY
8/10
OVERALL
-/10
VISUALS
-/10
GAMEPLAY

geometry dash levels are generally very upbeat and happy-go-lucky, but quid seems to revel in doing the opposite. dark and mysterious atmospheres are a common theme among his levels, and while they usually take great advantage of this tone (see oasis, white berry harmonia, and festival of the dark), seraph really stands out like a sore thumb as being incredibly shallow in its theming. you can see the pieces of a good theme—zodiac constellations/signs, eyes, clocks, ancient/biblical architecture, the sun/moon, and a pretty neat boss design—but all of these elements i've listed are only present for one part and one part only. there aren't really any consistent visuals to latch onto other than the generally simplistic decoration and color palette (and even that switches between muted browns/greens and black & white on a whim). as a result, seraph feels more like a collection of parts than a cohesive experience.

despite my grievances about the level as a whole, as a collection of parts, seraph is still very good and features some of my favorite parts in any level; the first 20% is perfect in its repetition and simplicity, and the cube part from 40-50% is just stunning. if the rest of the level was as good as these two parts, i could easily see seraph being a 10/10 level, but maybe it's too much to ask for a four minute level to be so consistently perfect.

-/100
DIFFICULTY
3/10
OVERALL
-/10
VISUALS
-/10
GAMEPLAY

charmed life attempts to create a fun, uplifting adventure throughout the world, but is so utterly boring it entirely misses the mark. much of this is due to the song choice, which—while i think is fine on its own—simply isn't suited for a geometry dash level; compare charmed life's fairly monotonous and repetitive song to the incredible highs and lows of the music in dark travel and lonely travel, while being over twice as long. but even ignoring the song choice, this level features some truly baffling design decisions, such as the terribly boring gameplay, the lack of any real song representation besides some blending screen pulses, the last quarter being entirely copy and pasted from previous sections, and the generic settings which are explored about as in-depth as the worlds in new super mario bros wii.

beating this once in practice mode was more than enough for me,,,,i couldn't imagine how agonizing it must be to actually beat this level

-/100
DIFFICULTY
9/10
OVERALL
-/10
VISUALS
-/10
GAMEPLAY

you hear a girl singing in the darkness. her voice is beautiful, though she speaks a foreign language you don't understand. looking around, you realize it's not just her words that feel foreign—everything around you has been engulfed in darkness. your only anchor is the sound of her voice, darting between your ears like a distant radio signal. something so surreal should be terrifying, but there's nothing to be afraid of here.

as your eyes adjust, you notice a faint candlelight in the distance. as you approach it, the singing sharpens—she's right in front of you now, her silhouette barely visible. her hand is outstretched towards you, beckoning you to join her. there's no need to hesitate. you take her hand, and suddenly the darkness comes alive. the two of you begin to dance, your steps perfectly synced to the pulse of the music. the candles blow out one by one as you dance around, but it doesn't matter. streaks of color ignite where your hands meet. the darkness, once oppressive, is now your canvas.

the silence between notes, the pause between heartbeats, the darkness between lights; a celebration of everything unseen.

-/100
DIFFICULTY
5/10
OVERALL
-/10
VISUALS
-/10
GAMEPLAY

basically just pocke building whatever he felt like for 6 minutes straight. levels of this length really need a red thread throughout to tie it all together into a cohesive experience, and this level has nothing of the sort. because of this the introduction of color at the halfway mark doesn't feel impactful at all, and just comes across as a lazy attempt to capture the magic of lonely travel.

the second half does find its footing more with a strong sense of location, but it still feels quite random and disjointed, and the mere 3 parts in the second half are really stretched thin

-/100
DIFFICULTY
3/10
OVERALL
-/10
VISUALS
-/10
GAMEPLAY

people love to get wrapped up in the many numbers that surround levels. object count, length, number of hours spent—whenever one of these numbers is extraordinarily low or high, the wider community will lose their minds about how impressive it is, even if the level itself suffers as a result. personally i think levels should speak for themselves, and creators should just make these numbers whatever fits their level the best.

the biggest appeal of ivorystar waltz is its colossal sample count, sampling from 735 different levels, so it's ironic that this high sample count is also to its detriment. putting 735 different things in a level of this length is pushing it, let alone when they're disjointed samples sourced from all different kinds of levels that are held together by clear tape and purple glue. so many random samples were added for no other reason than to increase the arbitrary number of samples. as a result this level is messy and busy as hell, which doesn't at all work with the calming, serene vibe the level is going for. i do think sampling can be done to great effect in gd levels, but it's evident that this level uses sampling not as a means of artistic expression but as yet another number to flex.

i know we're all sick of hearing radio brought up when discussing sampling in gd, but it's worth noting how so much of the charm from it comes from being able to pick out the source of each sample. the more minimal decoration style gives each sample lots of breathing room, and made it so 7ak had to creatively work each sample together to create a cohesive final product that actually looks good; it feels like a celebration of all the creativity of the gd community. ivorystar waltz feels like its creator shoved all the community's creativity into a blender and didn't let off until it all became a textureless, gray mush.

edit: lowered my rating by a point after reading the ivorystar waltz document. it's so soul-suckingly corporate—not an ounce of joy or passion can be found within it. truly a miserable read

-/100
DIFFICULTY
1/10
OVERALL
-/10
VISUALS
-/10
GAMEPLAY

they gentrified my shit

-/100
DIFFICULTY
2/10
OVERALL
-/10
VISUALS
-/10
GAMEPLAY

a few years ago i went to universal studios and they have a bunch of rides where they show you some 3D rendered video while moving around your seat, blowing wind in your face, spraying you with water, etc. and watching (yea im not playing this shit) galatikus feels exactly like these rides—that is to say, it's all spectacle and no substance. the orchestral score and overdone realistic aesthetic have zero flavor and so much random shit happens for no reason other than "wouldn't it be so epic if i did this??" and of course there's nothing inherently wrong with levels doing something cool for the sake of it, but when the entire experience is just a hollow series of 'epic' moments strung together, it culminates in a level that is so desperate to be the greatest level of all time and yet so unconfident in its ability to do so that it willingly sacrifices everything that makes geometry dash levels good at all.

despite my scathing review, i give it bonus points because it's so absurdly over the top it's comical. honestly a better parody of space gauntlet entries than cosmic level.

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sorry about this gang